he thought i was a dude.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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