Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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