We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
