shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Randomize
