i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I enjoy the company of your penis
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
