theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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