I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
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