I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
