I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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