you would pick up someone in the library
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
