This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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