Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
