Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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