.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
