They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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