I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
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