Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize