We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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