Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
