1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
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