I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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