i don't like sucking hair
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
