i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
The adults are the big ones right?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
