i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
