He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
