she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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