Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
