I hate your face
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Randomize