What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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