WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize