am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
