I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
