If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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