More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Randomize
