I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
