Where is the hickey?
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
