we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
