there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Randomize
