I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
