I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
