she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
he puts the penis in happiness.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
