hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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