nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
