I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
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