I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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