I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
