I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
