I want to walk on stilts...naked
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize