Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
