Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
