why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
