you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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