woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
