The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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