I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Randomize
