Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
