I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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