He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
