I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Randomize
