butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
