Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
