im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
two words...techno handjob
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Randomize
