Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
