i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
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