Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
